You! I’m talking to you!

Teenager in the morning train,

Can you please not put your feet on the facing seat in the front?

Not everyone likes to have the dust on their bums, you know?

Besides, in a packed train full of standing commuters, it’s only rational and polite to occupy only the seat you are sitting on.

Perhaps you need some training on common sense that involves some wanking?

I understand, of course, common sense is not as common as the name suggests- and will be happy to help.

With no love or regards- but uttermost sincerity,

Me

She

She sat opposite of me in the train… dressed in formals- much like I was, straight hair pulled back in a ponytail, reading a book. She was just another girl in the train of (I thought) Indian origin and we did not even look at each other twice.

Then her phone rang and she started speaking- in a low voice that did not hide the thrill in her voice- it must have been someone special, perhaps a call from the home that she has left behind. This happens every day. Every day in the train someone or the other speaks over the telephone- what’s so special about this one?

Well… she spoke my language. There is a strange kind of freedom if you are ‘brown’ but not Indian- not every ‘brown’ person you meet speak your language and usually if you overhear a native language in a public transport- it would be Hindi, not Bangla. We automatically assume all the other browns are Indians, mainly because they are more in number here than we are. Maybe she assumed the same about me.

I did not mean to pry, but I did- I could not help it. It felt so good hearing a stranger speaking my language. I’ve been out of Dhaka for so long that it has not happened for a very long time. She must’ve thought I did not understand her language, just as I had assumed at the first glance that she doesn’t understand mine.

She spoke of Dhaka, of the puppy she left behind and misses dearly, of the roses on her window tub, of her mum who was sick. She was speaking the language that I think in, dream in, reason with myself in- the language I am most fluent in, the language closest to my heart.

And I realized how we are not prepared for the small things and how capable they are of making us happy- sometimes sad, too… it’s been such a long time I have not heard a ‘stranger’ speaking in Bangla… MY Bangla!

It did warm my heart a bit.

The girl in black and red

Black fishnet stockings, black mini skirt, black leather jacket; topped up with the brightest red lipstick, nails matching the colour of lips. Sad eyes, very sad. She seemed angry with the whole world messing with her. Not much different from how some teenagers are, you see.

This is the girl who sat by my side on the tram the other day.

Did I say that she looked sad? Hmm. She was very young: 14/ 15. I thought she looked way too sad for her age. But then, I am probably getting it all wrong and generalizing in plenty- there must be many sad 14 year olds in this world.

She was trying to make a statement, perhaps? It was lost on me, the statement. She was half my age after all. Am I getting too old to understand people half my age?

I must be, but she reminded me of someone and all the way through to Collins I tried desperately to figure out who she reminded me of.

And then, I knew.

She reminded me of myself a few years ago- sans the severe coal and blood.

My inner rebel was always very subdued after all.

yesterday’s gone

I think there’s something nice about small train stations- compared to the major ones, if you know what I mean.

One thing being- there’s often music that plays in small stations- soft music, low volume- just the way I like it. I have often been ever so excited to catch tunes that remind me of a life that seems like someone else’s now.

Where did all the time go?

Not that I miss much of it- just some people who I’ll never see again and a place that is still, to some extent, home.

sanity… where art thou?

It rained this morning.

Actually it probably is still, but I am indoors now and still groggy… Too groggy to turn around and look out of the window to even see if it’s raining.

I had Grace is Gone on repeat in my ears this morning. It took me the whole train journey to realize that I was listening to the same song over and over again.

It’s still on repeat. I can’t be bothered. I like the song anyway.

I don’t do mornings.

But the mornings that are rainy- I slightly do those though. I can already see nods of disapproval! The most vehement ones coming from Crazylogix and Vegetable Assassin.. Yes, I can see it even before posting this entry! Hee-haa-haa!

They don’t do rain, you see.

In other news- the sanity medicine that I bought from Collins Street this morning (coffee… COFFEE… THAT’s what it’s called!) has not kicked in yet.

the week that was

I was just about to make a post giving every minute detail of my hectic week… but then I thought better of it. I mean- let’s face it- this week sucked! BIG TIME!! And isn’t it enough that I had to live it once?

I’ll settle for some highlights though:

-I am looking every bit like the zombie that is making a nest inside of me- overworked, underfed, stressed, Einstein haired- I never like to look like a zombie; even less than how I don’t like to feel like one. I told you I was superficial!

-I fainted in the train on my way back home yesterday . In my defence, the train was full, I stood all the way to Victoria Park and I suffer from severe motion sickness. Train cancellations can suck real bad. I hate it how they cancel trains and then the next service is packed to the extent that even the doors won’t close! I love you so much Connex! NOT!

- I am working from home this weekend, and in no time, it will be Monday. We are still finalizing the department budget, and I think these processes go on for AGES! Oh well… it’s expected to be finalized on Monday. For now, I’ll believe that and I will try not to kill anyone in the mean time. It will take some effort.

- Sherkhan has been dropped off to the vet’s for his neutering. I am immensely saddened that I am letting it happen, very confused too. I do not know what is the right thing to do. This seemed like the best option given our situation and circumstances. I hate it when I am so stressed. I lose my ability to judge. One moment one thing seems right, and the next- something else. I am hoping that this was the right thing to do…

Okay, that’s all I can think of. Fairly uneventful and mundane, as promised

Have a great weekend y’all!

Lady Dragona

if you use melbourne’s public transport- you ought to know there are some bad commute mornings. this morning was one. well… i usually try to be accommodative and defend connex (victorian train service provider) because i am a saint like that (okay, actually HUGELY because i am way too sleepy in the mornings to bother/complain/ react); but today… well… when connex asked us to change trains at flinders street if we’d want to drop at any other city loop stations (as if that’s a crime in itself!).. i wasn’t feeling so accommodative; NOT AT ALL- the displayed reaction was the same plain one though: change the train and move into the (other) packed train that they suggested we take, smile apologetically to the passengers in the other train- because well… it was already packed even before i brought in my 50 kilos and 5 more- for the office bag; and not to mention the ‘squeezing in’ of my 30+ inches of physical space in that already scarce sphere!

see… we were standing on the other train (obviously because there was no empty seat) very straight- as it was packed to the level that one more person and the doors won’t close… worse yet- i could tell what the person in the right had for breakfast (toast and coffee- i have very good noxious sense unfortunately- thank you very much!), or if the person in the left was using a cologne (fortunately yes, possibly GIO), or if the person behind me breathing on my shoulders brushed his teeth this morning (he didn’t! ew!)…

…….and the recorded voice inside the train kept saying in that (irritating) sensational tone ‘help us to create a better service for you by validating your ticket’.

i am not joking that the bearer of the voice was lucky not to be there. because it would have been hard ‘not’ to wind up a storm with my breath (yes, like a dragon!) and not stopping till it flew her away to antarctica! i’ll see what stupid announcements she made in antarctica!

okay… i’m sounding TOTALLY insane!

aren’t you thankful you’re not me?